weighed down

First off, I’d just like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the encouraging words and prayers. I didn’t expect to receive so much wonderful feedback on my first blog post. I’ve started quite a few posts and deleted them because I felt like I was writing for nothing since nothing is actually happening right now. BUT I said this year, I’d be more open with this journey and I’ve already let everyone into our story so I’ll make it short and sweet (maybe?)

After we lost in December, Dr. Webster told me he would run a RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) blood panel on me. This is a series amounts of tests that is going to hopefully give us some answers to why we keep losing. I am hopeful that we get some sort of answers from this test. As human beings, we want answers for everything. We may not like the answer we get, but knowing is a heck of a lot better than not knowing. We have 3 frozen embryos left, so we were going to move forward with a frozen transfer and we’ll plan accordingly to whatever the test results may be. Please pray for us in the upcoming weeks that this test will give us some insight into what is going on.

Taking a break from treatment for the past two, almost three, months has been nice. I’ve just been able to think clearly and really put things into perspective. It’s impossible to think clearly when your injecting yourself with hormones and feeling your ovaries throb every time you walk! Makes you feel like a mad woman! I’ve had a chance to really become at peace with what’s going on. I’m at peace with whatever path God leads us down. To be honest, I was completely done with IVF in December. There was no way I was going to go down that road again. BUT I owe it to Darren to give this 100%. I am not walking this journey alone. This is OUR journey.

I have this huge guard up regarding this next transfer. I guess that’s just a coping mechanism. I’m working on letting my guard down and getting excited like I was for the first transfer. I have to go into this with an open mind and positive attitude! I found the below quote on Pinterest, and I do believe it is quite perfect for me right at this moment.